


If You Loved Me, Why Did You Leave Me

by YondudeUdonta



Series: I'll keep you in my thoughts even though you didn't keep me in your arms [3]
Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Does staying awake for six days count as unhealthy coping mechanisms?, Hallucinations, M/M, Sad, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, read for a good cry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-29
Updated: 2017-06-29
Packaged: 2018-11-21 01:31:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11347149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YondudeUdonta/pseuds/YondudeUdonta
Summary: Kraglin sees Yondu again, but not in the way he had hopedTitle based on All I Want by Kodaline





	If You Loved Me, Why Did You Leave Me

Every time he closes his eyes he sees his dead  ~~ _mate_~~ Captain. The way the deep frost of space clung to Yondu's skin is behind his eyes. The lack of a goodbye in his ears. There are times he dreams of being able to save him and somehow those are worse.

 

If he stops sleeping he won't have nightmares. It's simple math.

 

He's been up for 48 hours and he starts to sag, the sleepiness in his limbs and body crying out for his bed. He shuts it up with a soldier pill or two  ~~~~or ~~five~~. His body is alive and Yondu isn't. It burns him from the inside out. He's staring at the wall in his cabin when it happens the first time.

 

"Whatchu doin' mournin' me like this?" Comes from his left and he jerks. He's hallucinating. He knows this. It's a warning on the soldier pills to not stay up longer than twice your species typical sleep cycle and Kraglin is past that by three days.

 

"Yondu?" His voice is rough from disuse; speaking to the Guardians takes so much effort that he prefers to stay in his room alone. Yondu huffs and rolls his eyes.  
  


 

"It's me. Sorta." Kraglin's afraid to touch him, terrified he'll dissipate with a single touch. Yondu looks around his bunk, letting out a low whistle. "Here to keep you company. This place looks like shit." Kraglin snorts, wipes his eyes with his knuckles.

 

"I'll take what I can get Cap'n."

 

\--

 

Peter catches him talking to Yondu on the 16th straight day of being awake. The concern in his eyes is something Kraglin's never experienced and it makes his teeth ache to snap at him. Peter is (was) Yondu's though. The only actually alive thing left behind by him. 

 

They come for him that night. Gamora and Peter hold down one arm each, Drax keeps his legs from kicking any of them while Rocket administers the sedative to his neck through a shot. Yondu's watching over Gamora's shoulder. When he touches Kraglin's face he can't feel it; but the hallucination whispers an 'I love you' that had never passed the lips of his alive captain. With that he sleeps.

 

When he wakes Mantis is with him. Yondu isn't. She gently touches his face when he starts crying, her antennae drooping, tears slipping out of her eyes at the amount of his pain coming through her bond.  
  
  


Yondu's left him _again_.

 

"Sleep." She whispers, and he does.

 


End file.
